Freedom’s Flight (for Mito)

By Erica Violet Lee

In her dreams, she flies fast through the city, with no IVs attached to her arms. In her dreams, there is a grocery store that serves wildberries and fresh, thick stews; everyone takes what they need and there is always enough. In her dreams, there is a community centre that never closes. You can go there to bead and hear stories, to get health care or maybe just a locker for storage. In her dreams, you get vaccines and don’t have to worry about whether or not the government might be experimenting on you, or if you will leave the hospital unable to have babies because they didn’t ask your consent before cutting you open or sewing you up. 

The thing about sickness is that it puts life in a suspended state. They say life – really living – will happen again after recovery, but for those of us who live in a state that doesn’t let us rest, being a good productive citizen has always been a myth. They fill our heads with inspirational quotes about success and doing it now, doing it now, about conquering the world; but some of us simply do not have the energy to do it now, nor do we wish to conquer anyone. So when you say “conquest,” I echo back to the concrete, no, we have never been conquered. 

Living with a disability or madness makes the colonial demands of the city clear and unavoidable. The hostile unbreathability of its air to our lungs. How the air of the city is made unbreathable for our lungs. How the city’s architecture is violent to our bodies and lives. Have you seen that viral video of the cockatoo tearing up anti-bird nesting spikes with its small beak? This brings into clear relief all the disruptions to be made. There are so many beautiful disruptions to be made. No one can survive on flower petals or poetry alone, but we all need a place to nest so we might as well make our freedom fragrant and delicious like lavender. They lock us together in these ghettos and cages, make us fight for food and shelter; here, we still live. Here, we organise.

Erica Violet Lee is a Nēhiyaw writer and Indigenous community organiser from inner city Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. She holds a BA in Political Theory from the University of Saskatchewan, and an MEd in Social Justice Education from the University of Toronto. Erica tweets @EricaVioletLee.