Tools of the Trade
By Leslie Thompson

Dear Reader, 

I’m a fraud.

I have been told on many occasions that I look like a very confident person. That I give off an air of sophistication, that I look “bougie” and even intimidating—Who? Moi? The truth is, I’m none of those things, but I sure have become quite gifted at faking it!

I’ve spent the last 35 years of my life slowly “watching myself” go blind. I watched from the inside out as people’s faces gradually became less recognisable and numbers seemingly began to blend into each other.  With each passing year, I had to increase the magnification on my computer screen more and I could no longer appear to look people in the eye, changing how I had once communicated and connected with the world around me. All of this happened, while trying to figure out new ways to successfully function in a world where differences are not always celebrated, equity is more theory than practice, and disabilities are viewed at best with pity, at worst with contempt. While diversity and inclusion is a hot topic, the discussions have not translated to significant change in the lived experience of many people like me. 

In my battle to find my place in the world, my clothing has become my armour, empowering me with the ability to have some control over how I feel, how I’m perceived, and how I’m treated. Every superhero has something they are trying to hide, and I employ the same tactics. What I wear and how I carry myself allows me to draw people’s attention to what I want them to focus on, while redirecting them away from what I don’t want them to see. I’m pretty much a Houdini using clothing and my body as my smoke and mirrors.  

I learned about “faking it” from a TED Talk by social psychologist Amy Cuddy called Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are. In it, she discussed her findings that performing the poses or characteristics of an “alpha” helps one become more alpha-like. Couple these findings with other studies that show what you wear can have a direct impact on how you feel about yourself and that people form judgements about others within the first seven seconds of meeting.  I can attest to the fact that harnessing these three tools have gone a long way to helping me fake it until I make it.

I often walk into environments where I don’t even know if I will be able to see well enough to navigate the space. But rather than running away from the situation or being timid and staying around the edges of a room trying to blend in, I choose to express the parts of myself that are most important: my personality, my creativity through my style aesthetic, and my uniqueness. I want people to notice me—my very big, natural hair, my tall frame and, often, my very bold outfit. Not because I’m female, black, blind and have managed to successfully navigate a world that tells me I don’t belong on an HOURLY basis, but because I’m an amazing person, deserving of respect, dignity, acceptance, and love.  

It has taken me a long time to begin to think and feel this way, and I have not perfected the technique! And let’s not get it twisted, I’ve also had some extremely embarrassing moments. But thank God, I don’t embarrass easily and I don’t take myself too seriously. So as long as my skirt does not end up over my head, I’m usually good humoured about seemingly embarrassing situations. And should the worst come to pass, well, at least I know I have on cute panties! 

Fashionably, confidently, sophisticatedly, and intimidatingly yours,

Leslie

Born and raised in “la belle province,” Leslie is one half of the Montreal-born sister duo The Long & Short of Style. Now based in Toronto, these digital influencers and body positivity/diversity & inclusion advocates show women how to dress their bodies stylishly and with flare, building confidence through clothing.